NEWS on the|
e l e c t r i c m i n d s,
Crusties to dupe themselves
HoleWorld's informAnts have just uncovered an arrogant plot by the crusties to clone them selves. While eugenics may sound frightening at first, the pirAnts point out that this will eventually lead to the surface dwellers boring themselves to death, clearing the way for our total world domination. Apparently the allures of mating ritual and denizen diversity have subsided, while down in the Hole, mating continues to be pertinant in the persuit of happiness.
recent probing, excessive stimuli in vital areas of the brain have imperiled Crusty's innate tendency to copulate. Could it be that the inhabitants above are so self- absorbed that true competition and biotic diversity will give way to designer baby hatcheries?
Motives for the advance are puzzling, considering how crusties traditionally cherish their mating and birthing ceremonies. Recent studies attribute this instinctual drift to sexuality desensitization, caused by rampant transmissions inundating the surface. Intentions to clone for research purposes only are also baffling: testing exactly streamlined subjects is unlikely to benefit a diversified and edgy target population.
| ||Once they realize their grave mistake through high profile horse-racing scandals and the realization that all meat sandwiches taste disturbingly the same, it will be too late.|
The scheme's momentum does not surprise since the crusties have marched from god- based religion to hero and icon worship. Despite some intriguing possibilities (bring back
Jimi) the results will be obvious: more than one of a kind proves less than tantalizing. Common resent- ment towards enabled super ego dupers (accompanied by a huge glut of supermodel and movie star replicants) will partition the crust socially, politically and physically.
Psychological issues will further impact the surface's redundant onhabitants: terrible difficulty distinguishing the inner selves from the outer selves, "meaning of life" gets even murkier when sexuality no longer drives the mass market and media, and family politics become unbearable. Eventually the crusty society, reliant upon indifference to maintain mental stability, will deteriorate as it grows deathly wearisome of the expression "whatever", paving the way for reverAnt rule and domination.